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For dates, it was never a question whether he would pay, because I plainly couldn’t afford his lifestyle, and he vetoed the consumption of bodega buffets.
“Sometimes I definitely feel old, like when my girlfriend says, ‘Who’s Fiona Apple?
’ And for queer people specifically, the difference in dating people of different generations is huge, because we’ve had drastically different experiences of growing up.
In an age-gap relationship, you’re trading in different currencies, but each holds its own value.
And while sharing parallel life experiences with someone has its clear comforts, it’s not exactly jerk-off material.
The Older Man was also my editor, which added a power imbalance to the mix—a dynamic we all know can be equal parts problematic and irresistible.
People raise their eyebrows at relationships with a significant age gap: If you’re the older guy, you’re creepy and exploitative; if you’re the older woman, you’re both of those things plus delusional about your shelf life.And then maybe, eventually, you’ll be able to pay it forward and be the teacher, which is a dynamic that feels simultaneously perverse and generous (a good combo).Like for example, it’s been kinda thrilling to be able to say, “Oh, you’ve never had a girl finger your butt before?When I was 25, I spent a year dating a man 20 years older than me.Before the Older Man, I’d never been in a relationship with someone of a significantly different age—older or younger—but I had spent my adolescence fantasizing about my teachers bending me over my lab station, so in a way this felt long overdue.Like, relationships are hard enough without your friends warning that your younger boyfriend is “using you.” Chelsea recalled, “In my previous relationship, when I had to tell my parents that I was dating someone nearly 30 years older than me, that was obviously stressful. People would shout stuff at us on the street, or mistake her for my mother, which always totally weirded me out.”Also, there are physical realities.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating