Reverse rejection dating

Since we could not survive alone, being ostracized from our tribe was basically a death sentence.As a result, we developed an early warning mechanism to alert us when we were at danger of being “kicked off the island” by our tribemates — and that was rejection.

We call ourselves names, lament our shortcomings, and feel disgusted with ourselves.

In other words, just when our self-esteem is hurting most, we go and damage it even further.

Doing so is emotionally unhealthy and psychologically self-destructive yet every single one of us has done it at one time or another.

The good news is there are better and healthier ways to respond to rejection, things we can do to curb the unhealthy responses, soothe our emotional pain and rebuild our self-esteem.

People who experienced rejection as more painful were more likely to change their behavior, remain in the tribe, and pass along their genes.

Of course, emotional pain is only one of the ways rejections impact our well-being.The same areas of our brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain.That’s why even small rejections hurt more than we think they should, because they elicit literal (albeit, emotional) pain. Evolutionary psychologists believe it all started when we were hunter gatherers who lived in tribes.And when a first date doesn’t return your texts, call your grandparents and remind yourself that your voice alone brings joy to others.Rejection is never easy but knowing how to limit the psychological damage it inflicts, and how to rebuild your self-esteem when it happens, will help you recover sooner and move on with confidence when it is time for your next date or social event.If your work colleagues didn’t invite you to lunch, grab a drink with members of your softball team instead.

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