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“This isn't someone who’s looking for a meaningful connection; they want to keep everything very surface level so they, and you, don't get too attached.” One topic that’s totally avoided? Unless you’re okay with being in a relationship with someone who isn’t fully there for you (and maybe you are!
Sometimes, it’s nice to be with someone without commitment), then you might want to consider ending things.
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If you scored 5 points or more, you are definitely seeing warning signs and may be in an abusive relationship. Chat with us to learn about your different options.
Remember the most important thing is your safety -- consider making a safety plan.
(And we're not just talking about a partner who likes to set healthy personal boundaries.) “This is someone who makes plans with you, but cancels last-minute because they either got another offer to do something, or claim they're too tired to spend time with you,” says Bingham.
And even when you do meet, they’re uninterested in your stories, says Sylvester—chances are, they seem checked out, dismissive, distracted, or distant.
Since that’s not ideal for many people, it’s important to be aware of the red flags an emotionally unavailable person exhibits.
Here’s what to look for: Call it what you will—ghosting, benching, breadcrumbing, zombie-ing—if you’re not sure whether you’re going to hear back from someone that day, a day later, a week later, or at all, that’s actually communicating a pretty clear message, says Bingham.
Relationships are meant to be an equal partnership, with give and take and a lot of compromise. You work too hard at the relationship, constantly making excuses as to why they're not giving to you what you give to them,” she says. If you don't feel like a priority, you might not be to this person.”When you’re in a relationship with someone who’s emotionally available, the relationship 100 percent revolves around them.
Someone who’s emotionally unavailable, though, doesn’t put you in the same slot on the priority list that you put them, says Sylvester. “They don't consider your feelings, ask about your day, or wonder about your thoughts and dreams,” says Sylvester.
“If someone is emotionally unavailable it's all on them to figure out what's going on and if they wish to change their behavior,” says Bingham.
And if they don’t or aren’t willing to change, you’re way better off putting your energy someplace else, or with someone else.
“We're all busy, but someone who wants to be in a relationship with you will prioritize spending time together and will always get back to you, even if it's to say, ‘At work. “If they can't be bothered to give you a heads up or considerate enough to recognize you also have a busy life, they're not emotionally invested enough.”One of the most critical ways to develop a relationship is through quality time spent together.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating